Rose without wings

In starting an online blog, my hope was it would encourage me in the discipline of writing, something I very much enjoy. One aspect of writing that is especially rewarding is when I can utilize writing to capture moments. And yet, with so many demands on my time, I have not been able to focus in this area as much as I would like.

Here is, however, a moment from last week.

It was just before bed and Abigail was looking through her picture Bible. She came to a picture of Jesus on the cross.


"Momma, look at Jesus. Why did he died?" I then proceeded to again explain the need for his death. She looked quite confused throughout my explanation. When I was finished, she, with great enthusiasm yelled, “But, He was raised from being dead.” And then a few seconds later, “But he didn’t have wings.”

Shopping List

In reading Moriah has recently begun working with words containing vowels teams and silent letters. She has learned that “ce” makes the /s/ sound, along with “ci” and “cy”. Otherwise “c” makes the /k/ sound. I came home from work this morning and Moriah wanted to show me the shopping list she had made. See if you can sort out her list.

Milc = Milk
Cracrce = crackers
Aplce = apples
Bnanuce = Bananas
Peenutce = Peanuts
Maencoce = Mangoes
Aplceoce = Apple sauce

Independence can hurt

This morning I wake up to a muffled crying. After a few seconds of consciousness, I identify the cry. It’s Abigail. I look at the clock - 7:30am. I’ve overslept. I stumble out of bed and into the hallway. With tears streaming down her face, she informs me, “The knife cut me.” I look at her hand; blood is smeared across multiple fingertips.

“Show me where.” I wipe her hand and see the wound, just a small cut on one finger. I ask her to explain further. From her bits of unorganized explaining, amidst her tears, I gather that she was cutting cheese. “Let’s go downstairs.” I then discover two plates set at the table with food, one with a very large serrated knife across it and a block of cheese, partially cut. She has “made” breakfast. She continues to tell me about cutting the cheese and that she did Moriah’s, but hers wouldn’t work, and that the apple needs to be cut, and that she can’t open the applesauce, it’s stuck.

She is so excited telling about breakfast, she has momentarily forgotten about her finger. And then she remembers. A smile crawls across her face as she says, “I get a Band-Aid; it’s bleeding.” A very stingy mommy with Band-Aids gets her one and proceeds to give the lecture about not using sharp knives. When Moriah wakes, Abigail is so excited to show her that she made her breakfast: cheese, apple, 2 plums, Triscuit crackers, zucchini bread, and vanilla yogurt. (I opt to not open the applesauce.)

David had warned me that I might discover the girls “making” breakfast. Many mornings they wake up before we get out of bed and go downstairs to quietly play. David had told me about the morning the week before when Moriah and Abigail together had set out breakfast. The mornings I work they often “make” breakfast with Daddy, and he allows them to help doing anything they can that does not include cooking. Moriah informed me that, “Daddy even lets us cut.” He promptly clarified they had cut bananas into pieces with a butter knife. The morning they prepared breakfast for him while he was still sleeping, Moriah had even devised that they pick flowers to put on the table. He was blessed at the special spread they had prepared, including poured lemonade with straws.

We have subsequently had discussions with both the girls about not getting food out without permission or using knives, especially sharp ones. We both struggle with giving them hard words when in their hearts they really wanted to bring blessing.

3 year old Abigail with her Band-Aid

Faith of a Child

“Mommy, you know that tree we just passed with flowers on it? Daddy said a little girl was in a car crash there and she died. He said that her mommy and daddy put those flowers there for her.
When I get to Heaven I want to be her friend. You think I can make friends with her?” (Moriah)

Dessauer

"Man is a creature who depends entirely on revelation. In all his intellectual endeavor, he should always listen, always be intent to hear and see. He should not strive to superimpose the structures of his own mind, his systems of thought upon reality. ... At the beginning of all spiritual endeavor stands humility, and he who loses it can achieve no other heights than the heights of disillusionment."
(Dr. Friedrich Dessauer, atomic physicist)

I like to collect quotes that capture my attention. They might catch my attention because I identify with the speaker or because they proclaim truth in a way that others haven’t or because they speak into my heart and sometimes just because I am unable to digest or resolve the written words and I want to work them out. Some years ago I found this quote from Dr. Dessauer. It caught my attention then as truth and it still speaks to me now, despite that I am still deciphering in full what he is conveying and I seem to pull out something different each time I read it. More recently the word humility jumped off the page as this is an area I am working in my life.

From time to time I pick up Humility: The Journey Toward Holiness by Andrew Murray and continue to battle against my flesh. In the forward, Donna Portow writes, “The truly humble person walks with absolute confidence, knowing that we are simply empty vessels through whom God wants to accomplish his work.” She further discusses that being an empty vessel embraces that it is not about us at all, it’s about God. Murray states, “ . . . meekness and lowliness of heart are the chief marks by which they who follow the Lamb of God are to be known.” Yes, I have come to grips that I am a prideful woman full of self and letting go of self is no easy task. Walking in humility is a lifestyle and one not often modeled.